(Rubato Verse)
The world can be a bitter place
When trouble's on your stair.
But keep one thing in mind, my friend,
And you need not despair.

Song:
When there's a grapefruit in your life,
Every morning is a treasure.
When you stumble from your bed,
Your eyes are slits of red
And your tongue tastes like a tire....

When you open up the door
Of your frost-free Calvinator,
There's a gleaming, yellow sphere right behind the beer,
Caste aside your cares and strife.
There's a grapefruit in your life.

When there's a grapefruit on your plate,
You tremble with anticipation.
When a perfect, golden jewel, 
Succulent and cool wakens to your fond caress...

When you pierce the blushing skin,
Juices flow in all directions.
Slice a tender ruby wedge with your cool, serrated edge.
Bow your head and celebrate.
There's a grapefruit on your plate.

I have known life's greatest pleasures:
Rembrandt, Keats and Mahler.
But how can Keats compete with the     [pronounce with long e]
At three pounds for a dollar?

When there's a grapefruit in your mouth,
You can scarce believe you're mortal.
Every tender bite you choose
Spreads a sweet and fruity goo over every tooth and gum...

And your taste buds burst with song
In a fructose exaltation.
Let us bid a fond salute to the nobel, citrus fruit.
Thank your grocer, thank the South.
There's a grapefruit in your mouth.