My mustache is glorious
The girls, they adore us
Do anything for us
My mustache is glorious

Hey little man, pecker in your hand,
Grow a mustache if you can
Don't forget, man
To wax it down

I always wondered how they got them that way
Well I knew I would have one, have one one day
One day I looked in the mirror and said
"Damn, that mustache is sure glorious my friend!"

Well I heat the wax up
Slide it right in
Run comb through it
Twist up the ends
Next thing I know it was ladies with grins
Damn, that mustache is authentic, my friend

Some people will gander, some people will talk
But I'll keep on twistin', swaggerin' as I walk
'cause I know all the ladies came here to say
"Joe Bill, I love it when you wear your mustache that way!"

Well I heat the wax up
Slide it right in
Run comb through it
Twist up the ends
Next thing I know it was ladies with grins
Damn, that mustache went and did it again

My mustache is glorious
The girls, they adore us
Do anything for us
My mustache is glorious

My mustache is glorious
The girls, they adore us
Do anything for us
My mustache is glorious
My mustache is glorious
My mustache is glorious