I AIN'T GOT A WORRY IN THE WORLD,
SINCE THE POSTMAN RAN OFF WITH MY GIRL,
MY SERVANTS COME AND GO OUT AS THEY PLEASE, 
THE CHILDREN THROW MUD PANCAKES AND THEY TEASE ME.

I GO BOATING IN MY SUNDAY CLOTHES,
PROPPED UP WITH A BOTTLE OF BORDEAUX,
WITH MY HIPPY GLASSES ON MY NOSE,                          
AND SOME PINK NAIL POLISH ON MY TOES.     
           
NOW I'M COUNTING PIGGIES IN MY SLEEP,
I'M SWIMMING IN IT, RIGHT UP TO MY CHEEKS. 

THEN HER HIGHNESS CALLS ME ON THE PHONE,
WOULD I JOIN HER IN AN ICE CREAM CONE?
AND A CUP OF TEA AND A BUTTERED SCONE?
I SAY, IF I CAN BRING A CHAPERONE.

LOONY POLICEMAN LOVES TO SPOIL MY FUN,
EXCUSE ME, I'M NOT HURTING ANYONE.

I AIN'T GOT A WORRY IN THE WORLD,
SINCE THE  POSTMAN RAN OFF WITH MY GIRL,
MY SERVANTS COME AND GO OUT AS THEY PLEASE, 
THE CHILDREN THROW MUD PANCAKES AND THEY TEASE ME.