The Sermon


I saw the vicar dropping acid yesterday; I couldn’t quite believe it, but you know I had to stay
When I saw him down a bottle of Jack Daniel’s that way
He put cocaine in the bread, magic mushrooms in the wine; nothing much was happening, everything was fine
Then we’re all hallucinating, seeing Elvis all the time

They were dancing on the altar, fornicating in the aisle; swinging from the rafters, and through it all the while
The choir they kept on singing, “you’ll never walk alone” and “show me the way to go home”.

The bishop danced the can-can on the top of the spire; the rector and the verger are playing games with fire
The rector thinks he’s Joan of Arc; he’s dressed in her attire; the nuns are playing hop-scotch on each and every grave
They’ve opened up a brothel in the dark end of the nave; they won’t charge you nothing if you say; “Jesus saves”

Miss O’Dell, who rings the bells, so prim; yet so correct; makes out she’s a virgin which I would believe except
She’s now praising the joy of sadomasochistic sex; the judge, he charged the vicar with intention to supply
Who pleaded, “I’m not guilty, it’s a god-damned filthy lie” and then he bribed a guard and made it off to Paraguay

It was mayhem in the church, hallelujah! It was mayhem in the church, hallelujah!
It was mayhem in the church, hallelujah! While his sermon goes on and on