If I cut my hair and I wore nice clothes
had a royal air and a regal nose
would there be a chance
that you would let me in?

If I made you laugh, if I made more sense,
if I made you graphs of my pounds and pence
do you think you could love me
just the way you love him?

If I could be taller, If I could be good,
If I could get a credit line.
I would if I could, if you would say the chances are
that I could make you mine

If I had degrees, if I had a clue
or a little respect from those who do
would I catch your eye?
Would I fuel that spark within?
The way that you love him.

If I could be smarter, if I could be suave,
if I could stand the test of time.
I would if I could but all I have is love
I’d give it all to make you mine.

If I changed the world or changed my ways
If I brought you tea on silver trays
would it fill your cup
right up to the brim?

If I knew my role, stayed in the wings
If I sold my soul and I bought you things
Would you ever love me?
Could you ever love me?
If we close our eyes
and for just once pretend—
The way that you love him.