The Smiths are coming to dinner, 
But he can’t eat meat, you know.
He’s a vegetarian, so we’ll have filet of sole.
And Sally’s on a diet to lower her cholesterol,
So we’ll have to bake the fish, 
No cheese in the casserole.
The Smiths are coming to dinner, 
With special diets all around.

The Smiths are coming to dinner,
But Freddie can’t eat dairy goods.
It seems that he has allergies to 
Everything his poor wife cooks:
No onions in the salad, hold the garlic in the spread.
But everyone can eat brown rice, 
Accompanied by wholegrain bread.
The Smiths are coming to dinner, 
With special diets all around.

Sally is off of desserts now, 
So we will have fruit with herb tea.
We cannot serve caffeine before we go to sleep.
We want our guests to feel that 
They just ate the perfect meal.
It’s not easy to arrange, but diets can be overcome.
The Smiths are coming to dinner, 
And I hope that we will all have fun!

Sung by Pat Holmberg