VERSE    
  
I’VE GOT A COOL POOL TABLE IN THE GARAGE
BIG SCREEN TV IN THE DEN
THERE’S A WELL STOCKED BAR IN THE BASEMENT
WHERE I CAN ENTERTAIN MY FRIENDS
I’VE GOT EVERYTHING A MAN COULD NEED IN REACH OF MY EASYCHAIR
SO WHAT AM I DOIN’ HERE ACTIN’ LIKE I’M NOT ALL THERE

CHORUS

I’M HONKY TONK CRAZY HONKY TONK INSANE
I’D BE HOME WITH MY BETTER HALF IF I HAD HALF A BRAIN
THERE’S A DROP DEAD RED HEAD WAITIN’ IN MY WARM BED 
TO RUN HER FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR
SO WHAT AM I DOIN’ HERE ACTIN’ LIKE I’M NOT ALL THERE

VERSE

I ATE A DOZEN MEXICAN REDHOTS
BECAUSE SOMEONE DARED ME TO
THEN I CHUGGED A MUG OF LOBO BEER
AND HOWLED AT THE NEON MOON
I’LL BE SLEEPIN’ IN THE DOGHOUSE BUT RIGHT NOW I DON’T CARE
IF SHE CALLS I’M NOT HERE ACTIN’ LIKE I’M NOT ALL THERE

CHORUS

I’M HONKY TONK CRAZY HONKY TONK INSANE
I’D BE HOME WITH MY BETTER HALF IF I HAD HALF A BRAIN
THERE’S A DROP DEAD RED HEAD WAITIN’ IN MY WARM BED 
TO RUN HER FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR
SO WHAT AM I DOIN’ HERE ACTIN’ LIKE I’M NOT ALL THERE