If God was a banker
I’d need his forgiveness.
But I’m not seeking absolution
no one else can pay for what I’ve done.
I’ve been over every detail,
every conversation
It’s raining hard between love and hate.
I’ve lost my motivation,
pacing in this figure eight.

Chorus
Do you think that Heaven is waiting
For a girl like me?
You want to know what tortured thoughts I’m thinking.
I’m living like I’m dead inside,
tripping over lies.
Over and over again.

Leave me alone
‘cos I’m so contagious.
I’ll twist and mutilate your language,
I do what I do with no real sensation.
Take these hands, unclench these fists,
is this who I really am?
No quiet for me, no dignity,
as brittle and bare as the winter trees outside 
forbidden to me.

So convinced by my own thoughts,
I didn’t give anyone else a choice.
What I feel is no consequence,
it has knocked me down and made me blind to it all.
Over and over again.

Do you think that Heaven is waiting
For a girl like me?
You want to know what tortured thoughts I’m thinking.
I’m living like I’m dead inside,
tripping over my repeated lies.
No no, no no, no no, no no …
No whispered memories,
Mum Dad, don’t feel sad for me,
It’s better this way
Take another happy pill
it’s not you who made me ill.
Heaven are you waiting 
for me?...